ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
