Don't make out with my wife yet
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My pussy is not your playground.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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