She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
