Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize