Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
