Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Randomize
