i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
