chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
