But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
