i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
