i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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