i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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