69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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