I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
