i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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