With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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