You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
