Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
