haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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