I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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