so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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