i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
