I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
