dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
