I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
