There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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