sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The power of my boobs compel you
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
