So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
