Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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