We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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