i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
