Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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