I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
