like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
