well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
