it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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