we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
