It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
