a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
