We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize