i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
