This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
