It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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