It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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