I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
two words...techno handjob
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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