I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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