we're blogging at a bar
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
