Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
