New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
