Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
