Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
