Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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