he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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