I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
