You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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