I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
