singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we made out on top of his cat.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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