I can text with my tongue
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
