Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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