She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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