Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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