You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
