White coat. Heels.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
