Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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