I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I love having hate sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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