I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
