I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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