my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize